on: Gender Equality For Children

Teaching children gender equality.

How would your child respond if you asked them about the differences between boys and girls?

Boys play football. Girls play gymnastics.

Boys like blue. Girls like pink.

Boys want to be firemen. Girls want to be mums.

Even if you don’t teach these expectations of gender roles at home, your children will almost definitely pick up who they should be from school, friends, and media. Our culture whispers, and sometimes shouts, life assignments for girls and boys.

Recently, my 4-year-old son looked at my prickly legs and asked me why they were so scratchy. I explained it was because I shaved my legs, but since it had been so long since the last shave, the hair had grown back stubbly and sharp. His obvious next question was, “Why do girls shave their legs?”. Well. Girls shave their legs because in 1915, Harper’s Bazaar instigated an advertising campaign preaching that women needed to have smooth skin to be more attractive for men . Gone are the days of porcupine underarms and legs. The campaign did its job. Today, most women in the West shave their armpits, legs, underarms, and bikini lines. All because of an advertisement that suggested a woman’s body was more desirable if smooth.

I didn’t go into that detail to my son. However, parents that long for gender equality need to find ways to communicate how boys and girls — men and woman — are more alike than dissimilar. I have three boys. All of which I want to grow to know the equal importance of both men and women in society. Men and woman both have raging emotions. Men and women both have intelligent minds. Men and women both have a choice as to their futures. Men and women both have autonomy over their bodies.

Men and women both can shave their legs.

What are some simple, practical ways in which parents can encourage their children to treat men and women equally?

1. Talk about what your children want to be when they grow up. Often, children decide their future roles by navigating what is acceptable in society. Give them examples of men and women with unexpected job roles.

2. Stop using blanket statements to describe genders. Listen to how you speak about men and women. If you describe men as emotionless, so will they. If you describe women as meek, so will they.

3. Avoid reading stories with traditional gender roles. These are the plots with weak women in need of strong men to rescue them. Find stories that celebrate brave, gentle men and women.

4. Encourage them based on what they do and who they are. While the occasional compliment of outward appearance won’t hurt, the common compliment should be regarding their kindness, intelligence, or creativity.

5. Be open and honest regarding gender issues. When they come home from school with opinions about what girls and boys can or can’t do, challenge them. Dive deeper into why they think a certain way and offer a different perspective.

Raising children who regard men and women equally is difficult in our culture, but nowhere near impossible. Let’s work to create gender equality in our world, starting at home.

Originally published at https://laurencrosbymedlicott.substack.com.